quiet_strength's Revelife

woo (and a recipe for home made lip balm)

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:56:13 GMT

So I have been feeling pretty terrible this week, finally got super sick Thursday night and even missed work on Friday. thought that was a better option than throwing up all over little old ladies. Shane has Fridays off now because the winter is slower, so he was home to take care of me and I just laid in bed drinking peppermint tea and loading up on echinacea, ginger, and grapefruit seed extract. I feel much better today, still trying to take it easy though.

Today I went into town and invested some more money in dried herbs and supplies to make my own first aid, medicinal and cosmetic items. A friend of mine bestowed some oils on me that really helped get me going and save me a lot of money, and I found a couple of really good places to buy herbs in bulk for not too expensive. Last week I made honey lip balm! It was really exciting. You should try it. Here is the recipe:

Home-made Honey Lip Balm

1/4 cup vegetable oil (I used a combination of jojoba, palm, and almond oil)
1/4 ounce beeswax, shaved thin (you can usually find this at a health food store)
1/4 teaspoon honey
10 drops essential oil (something like orange or lemon)

Directions: Slowly heat oil and add beeswax bit by bit until it is melted. Stir in honey and essential oil and pour into containers while it is still warm but not too hot (if you are using plastic containers, you want to be sure the mixture is not too hot to melt the containers). And that is it!

Next week I might try to make lotion...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:12:40 GMT

why do (old) women wear so much perfume?

straight from the brain of sarah...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:11:02 GMT

Had a good time in Texas. Our drive was long and our stay too short, I got to see almost everyone I wanted to but only a small amount of time with each.

Highlights:

I spent the day in Denton/Dallas with two of my best friends in the world...
...got lost on the way home and drove through po-dunk Texas on a Saturday night through a sea of police (you have to have driven in Texas to understand)...
...playing apples to apples in delirium and laughing so hard I cried...
...a baby that slept almost the entire ride to and from Texas...
...seeing my friend have an amazing time with her family, meeting them, and eating delicious home made food...

There are probably more but that is what comes to mind right now.

Green tomato pie was fantastic and Shane and I ate almost the whole thing.

Yesterday I had my first knitting lesson and wow what I made is really wretched looking but although I want to be a master I guess that's a little high hopes for my first time out. I work with the girl who is teaching me and it is kind of nice to get to know her outside of work. I know our beliefs and convictions about life and our faith are dramatically different, and I knew from the get-go that she must be dying to ask me why I don't go to church. I was encouraged by her attitude to understand and not just point fingers, though I know she doesn't agree with me. I hope I came across the same way. I know it is good to talk about what I believe, and I want to, but since I don't always have a willing audience (other than those who readily agree with me) it was a little hard to articulate what I think.

Also, earlier that day I had been thinking how I feel like such an odd sheep sometimes and maybe it is even that many of my fellow believers can't even see me as such because of this one thing (or perhaps others, too)...and then it dawned on me that maybe sometimes I do that to them, too...so it really helped me to put where they are into perspective. I also know that not too long ago I was probably even where they are, so I need to have the same grace with them that I would have expected and do hope for even now. Recently the biggest lessons I have been learning is when I look at things I disagree with introspectively and search myself to see if perhaps I am doing the very same thing. I think this happens much more often than we admit or care to realize.

Anyway, I am having a hard time thinking because I am at work in the cafeteria and that stupid gigantic mixer is squeaking away so I will wind this up for now, hope you will write to me soon and that we can catch up.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:51:11 GMT

Shane and I are leaving for Texas after work tomorrow. A pleasant surprise, a friend of ours (and her baby) are coming along for the trip and we will drop her off with her family while we are spending time near Teen Mania and with friends. We will also be driving through the night when we come home sunday night/monday, so please pray for us.

I haven't had much to say these days, I still think about some of you I used to share with here on Revelife and I feel a little bad about it. In many ways it is freeing not to have the internet at home and I am using my time a little more wisely...but I miss being able to so easily keep in touch with people.

My time has been consumed with my job, house work, cooking, reading and learning, and spending time with friends. Shane and I are part of a small group once a week. I am going to try to learn how to knit soon. If I have some time before I leave for Texas I am going to bake a green tomato pie. Shane has his hunting license and yesterday we ate the first squirrel he killed. I am 24 now. We are doing a lot of thinking and praying, not sure what the Lord has in store for us. I feel a little out of place sometimes, not sure where I fit, like a fish trying to swim in the desert. Maybe I just shouldn't get offended when little old ladies who know everything don't want to listen to what I have to say because they took a course once in 1973. I guess I just want to feel like I have something valid to say, to feel a little bit important.

But I also have been recognizing a lot of lies in my life that I have been buying into and I want to change. I realized for so long I have just tried to ignore them and push them away, but if I was bleeding from the head I would do something about it, right? So I need to be actively doing something to combat these lies. I am tired of believing that I am worthless, that I should keep my distance from people because no one wants to be around me, I am tired of believing I am ugly, fat, annoying, overwhelming, or whatever it is I am buying into. Sometimes I have no idea who I am because I have been believing I am this person for so long.

I love the Lord. He is really fantastic. I want to understand what He really meant when He said to follow Him, and not get tangled up or confused by anything else. I know what I believe, I just need to find my voice. I always want to keep learning, and I pray the Lord protect me from falling away. I want my heart to be fully His.

<3

Hello

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:51:00 GMT

I'm still alive. I feel really bad that I never have time to read anyone's blogs, but I can barely keep up with my emails these days not having internet at home. We have just decided to not get it, it is too much hassle and an added expense.

Anyway, I will update quickly...Shane and I are doing fabulous. We are now going to a small group and growing in relationship with people around here. I really like living in this area. I really like my job, and the people I work with. I started going to the chiropractor that Shane went to when he hurt his back over Christmas. The chiropractor took X-rays of my back and found several areas out of place but he is hopeful I will recover from them. I really like the methods he uses and feel pretty hopeful myself that I will get better soon.

Shane and I are planning to go to Texas at the time of the Alumni Reunion for Teen Mania...so you can plan on us being there.

I don't think there is anything else earth-shattering going on right now. Hope to hear from you soon...

A little bit of normal

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:19:16 GMT

So I am trying very hard to not think too much about the state of my parents and everything going on there. I realized after that Thursday, I have a LOT of anger toward my mom, and I really thought I was over it, and maybe I really was. I feel guilty for being angry with someone who at this point probably cannot even correct the situation or truly understand what is going on, but there it is. I am so angry, and I do not know what to do with it.

But I kind of still do need to think about them because I mean that is why I live down the street lol...dad's pneumonia is not really improving that we can see, and he goes in for a check up tomorrow. Mom is also not improving, neither in her pain nor her odd behavior and I know my dad is suffering in many ways because of it...one being his health. She is going to the doctor today, so I hope they figure out something, and they say maybe she has another UTI and that is why she is acting so crazy. What bugs me is they said that several weeks ago, before her pain or behavior got this bad, and they never followed up on it, so if that is really what has been going on sheesh....

ANYWAY, I am finally pretty caught up on housework and cooking and the like. I have started making my own things like tortillas, salsa, tomato sauce (A LOT of tomato sauce!!)...it is really quite rewarding. I know I am not the best at everything yet but I am learning a lot and I think I am getting better at some things. Basically the only things I ever buy prepared anymore are tortilla chips, yogurt (sometimes....although I did make somewhat successful yogurt and plan to make it again...) and ice cream, which we are also planning on getting an ice cream maker soon and making that ourselves, too. Oh and peanut butter..but that's because I don't have a vitamix, haha. The only down side to all this is I am extremely picky these days and usually don't like food that I don't make myself and I guess that can be a problem.

I am still really enjoying my work, it is getting a lot easier for me to handle. I mean, it is still pretty hard work, but I am learning how to pace myself better and also I am getting stronger. The people I work with are pretty sweet, too. Speaking of work, it is about time to get started. I have been bringing my laptop most days because it is just about the only time I get on the internet anymore...I guess maybe it is good to have one less expense, but it sure is nice to be able to pull up movies and recipes and play yoville at home whenever I want...sigh

see you later.

Still breathing

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:16:45 GMT

Yesterday was a mess. I worked until 3:30 and came right over to take over caring for my mom, who, had been crying out in pain all day long. Now, I believe she is in pain, but it is hard to believe it is as bad as she says and honestly she would cry out even if it wasn't. So from the time I get there she is yelling, and yelling at me to call dad so that 'they' can do something about this pain, and I am so fed up. I was a serious mess yesterday. Then, Shane went to go get my dad who was being discharged, and he somehow made it to the parking lot before the buick broke down...the radiator hose broke to bits. So, since my mom was yelling, she wanted to go to the hospital, so I had to take her, to pick up Shane, to pick up dad, so dad could take her to emergency and I could take Shane to get the part to fix the car. I brought a friend with me just because I would seriously losing my sanity, and because I wasn't sure what we needed for the car and it just made me feel better to have someone there. The whole car ride there my mom is saying "I'm sorry to have caused all this"...but she didn't really have a lot to do with it, I think she just wanted to bring herself back to the center of attention. She is really, really not right in the head right now, and is having serious mood swings, in addition to the crying out and the normal demands and everything else. So, of course they didn't find anything, and wouldn't keep her because she is a dialysis patient and they are not connected with the dialysis center right next door, so they sent her home. Dad is home now taking care of her, he says he is okay but I am worried. The pneumonia is basically the same and not breaking up. I don't want to wear him out and send him right back to the hospital, but I can't take much more of mom the way she is. I wish I was stronger, but I am just so angry about everything and I cannot take it.

After the episode, I had a somewhat normal evening with Shane, and it was very refreshing. And, we ate some watermelon soup with some friends! I'm looking forward to tonight, going out with some friends and getting a change of scenery. I hate that I cannot handle all of this better. I just miss having a normal life.

Update

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:06:31 GMT

Okay so my dad has been in the hospital since Saturday being treated for pneumonia. He is not coughing anything up and that is concerning. They said he has problems swallowing and that may be what caused the infection, so they are going to start therapy for his swallowing, whatever that means, and they make him put a gross thickener in his liquids.

They do believe he had a small heart attack but the damage was not enough to do anything further for him regarding that, but they are monitoring him. Anyway, they can't do anything while he has the pneumonia.

So, Shane and I have been taking turns taking care of my mom...we tried doing it together at first and realized we just need to take breaks. I didn't realize how severe the workload really is until I am doing it full time myself. I have no question in my mind what has caused my father's health issues, this is just so much. Right now my sister is staying over a couple of nights so that Shane and I can work, so that is really helpful. I don't know what needs to happen when my dad comes home, but I don't want to send him right back to the hospital so we need to figure out a new situation, at least temporarily or something.

Please pray for us, we really need wisdom. I really need to not go crazy or die. I am so stressed out, I feel so much of this burden on me, and like I am the one who needs to make sure everything is taken care of...and I couldn't feel less capable.

I am sorry for sounding so abysmal, I am just having a really hard time right now.

Ok bye.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 18:50:32 GMT

I'm on my way to the hospital right now. My dad went in this morning with chest pains and such...if you will, just pray for us all. We don't know what's going on with my dad totally yet, except pneumonia in one side and pain in the left. I know my weekend is going to be pretty burdensome, and I am already so exhausted.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:40:28 GMT

So, my job...kind of kicks my butt. Basically, I walk 15 minutes to work and start about 9:30am. I scrub pots and pans for a couple of hours, take a quick break, get drinks and things ready before lunch starts, and then I hurry and eat before everyone else finishes and starts bringing their trays back. After the lunch hour I have someone else helping me, but from the time I finish eating I'm busy non-stop stacking, rinsing, loading and unloading dishes for about 2 1/2 or 3 hours, sweep and mop and then I'm finished sometime around 3:30 or 4pm. In addition to doing this 3 days a week, I am going to be helping with food prep some Wednesdays from 8am until 1:30pm.

I am having a difficult time adjusting to the work load and my new schedule...I think it wouldn't be so hard if I wasn't still pushing myself to try to keep the house in order and make all my food from scratch, plus added stresses and duties with family. Honestly, I am purposefully trying to stay away from the family stress because I am just so exhausted I cannot handle it, and I am not directly involved in any of it anyway so I do not see why I should kill myself. Seriously, I can feel the stress enough already in my body, then I am working just about all day long every day and I just cannot seem to rest up very well.

So actually, although that whole paragraph may seem sort of negative, I really am enjoying my life! Yes, I am tired, but, life is good and I am thankful. And I love my hubbie!! He is the best!

I think we will be getting internet set up to our apartment sometime within a week or so, until then I will update again when I can.